In human interactions – especially CLOSE relationships, such as family, friends, and partner relationships – there is GREAT power in practicing “the pause”.
The more intimate the relationship is, the less social it becomes – especially over time.
Think, the first date versus the first anniversary. Now, advance to the tenth anniversary, the twentieth, and decades of intimate interaction.
The “real person”(s) tend to make their way to the forefront the more relaxed we become in our relationships.
Partner relationships specifically reflect this concept tremendously – that we not only get to meet and know different “sides” and parts of our partner’s personality, but we also get to meet those “different sides” and parts of our own.
YIKES! That can rumble the earth a bit when it first occurs. It can cause a quake of epic proportions over time if the partners do not learn to apply higher levels of people skills within their relationship.
Practicing “the pause” is a GREAT gradient that I often lead a partner or a couple to and into regular practice within their relationship.
“The pause” is a great practice for us all – in all of our relationships.
For those who practice it, instead of spontaneously reacting with words or actions, “biting your tongue” and breathing in for a minute (then out) can begin to breed a calm where a more beneficial response can replace a “knee jerk” reaction.
This brief respite can be tied to another pause, creating a clarity of approach in the form of a more elevated response. It also helps to create some traction away from additional relationship damage.
Rome was not built in a day and neither was a strong, happy, and harmonious relationship that stands the test(s) of time. Great discord is too often sown through triggered, emotional responses and words that fuel foundational damage.
Pausing and breathing can avert so much of that damage and promotes an energy of peaceful, forward movement.
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